Romanic languages are like the meals at McDonalds: If you know one of them, you know all of them.
This – unjustifiedly disparaging – thought came to my mind as I am trying to decide which language to learn next.
“We have too many foreigners” in France, said Nicolas Sarkozy before threatening that France might leave the Schengen zone of passport-free travel.
Nicolas Sarkozy forgot to mention that his father is Hungarian, that his mother’s family was originally from Spain, later settled in Greece which was then part of the Ottoman Empire and that they had to flee within France to escape from the Nazis during World War II. By the way, I seem to remember that Mr Sarkozy’s wife is Italian and his previous wife’s parents were from Moldova, Spain and Belgium.
"Madame, I will deport you personally."
The polls must look really dire if somebody with this background resorts to xenophobic bashing of immigrants. I don’t like any of the main contenders of Mr Sarkozy, but I definitely would never vote for such a dangerous agitator.
When Vladimir Putin was appointed dictator for life re-elected as President on 4 March 2012, he had tears in his eyes when he appeared in front of government employees who had been ordered to attend jubilant voters.
But what did Russia’s strong man really cry about?
Thanks to the investigative reporting by my undercover comrades in Russia, I can exclusively reveal the following reasons:
"I wish my friends Flippy and Floppy could be here tonight to celebrate with me. I miss them."
"If I was President of the USA, I would get a BlackBerry. What a stupid country is this here?"
"I will have to make a tough decision about what to do with my friend here."
"Thank God I still know how to use this."
"Or I will have to take him to a hunting trip."
"Or maybe I will send him to the same place as Mikhail. They can continue their musings about rule of law there."
"I am so sick of the daily commute to the Kremlin."
"Damn. It still hurts from that time the other guy hit me in the *****."
"Other dictators at least get to kiss babies."
"Seven more years with the same wife."
If I get hit by a truck, shot by a sniper or killed by a parcel bomb in the next weeks, it will probably have been the FSB. Do svidanya.
Iran wants peace. It’s a peaceful nation. Iran wants to have constructive relations with the rest of the world. Really.
I saw it with my own eyes when I was in Iran:
"We want to be peaceful friends with all the nations in the world."
Seen and photographed in Shiraz, Iran in January 2009.
Christian churches everywhere are trying to keep Sundays “work free” and try to influence legislatures to keep shops closed on Sundays.
I am all for a lot of free time and I think that most people put far too much emphasis on their work life, but I want this to remain my decision. It is not the government’s business when I work, and it definitely isn’t some church’s either.
And isn’t it ironic?
The guys who fulminate against working on Sundays put on their own biggest shows on – exactly – Sundays:
"It may be a bit inconsistent with what we preach, but please let this not deter you from obeying us."
By the way, if you have missed the Sunday service, here is your chance to catch up with it.
Immigration advice is a big business. Millions of people want to emigrate every year and seek out lawyers, attorneys and other immigration advisers.
Only four left.
How can you tell a competent adviser from a fake one? I will have more on that subject soon, but you always have to be suspicious if somebody claims to have information about every country in the world. Nobody will realistically be able to keep abreast of the legal developments in more than one or two countries.
Preparing for my trip to Somalia, I came across this website which pretends to be “the guide to immigration everywhere in the world”. Their website included the following sentences about Somalia:
People immigrate to Somalia for different purposes. Some people immigrate to Somalia for work. Others move to Somalia to have a better life and seek out Somalia citizenship.
I have not yet been to Somalia, but I doubt that many people immigrate to Somalia, unless you consider the sailors who are kidnapped by Somali pirates to be “immigrants”. I doubt even more that people move to Somalia “to have a better life”. Where would you need to live in order for Somalia to appear as the better alternative?
“We were promised a land of milk and honey.”
Obviously this “World Immigration Guide” just copies and pastes whatever text they have and uses it for 193 or so countries. If you ever come across a website that sounds like this generic typical internet bla bla devoid of all style and content, run away. You are better off seeking proper advice from real experts. But not from this lazy lawyer, please.
Don’t climb the pulpit in a mosque and pretend to be an imam!
inside Vakil Mosque in Shiraz, Iran
Luckily, not many people were listening to me and my sermon at Vakil Mosque in Shiraz, Iran.
Another rule: if you pretend to be an imam, at least don’t pretend to be the 12th. He is a special one.
Don’t go to a mosque to steal the Quran!
at Hakim Mosque in Isfahan, Iran
Obviously, I didn’t steal any books. But ever the bibliophile, I needed to take a closer look.
(I did however take a prayer stone with me from Hakim Mosque.)
“I do more before 9 a.m. than most people do all day” is one of my mottoes.
I love to get up at the crack of dawn, when the whole city is still asleep and I can work or study for a few hours before everybody else wakes up. Also, the morning sunlight is a fabulous thing to see and enjoy. There is nothing better than the feeling of achievement when by 0900 I have already been so productive as I know many people won’t become all day. It’s time for breakfast then, or for a rewarding walk along the beach.
For those of you who are too young to remember, the slogan “we do more before 9 a.m. than most people do all day” comes from a US Army commercial from the 1980s.
The military recruitment ads have gotten better since, I think.
