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Why I don’t ask strangers to take photos of myself, # 1
There is a reason why I don’t ask strangers to take photos of myself with my own camera:
Somebody’s attempt of capturing us on camera in Cardiff Bay, Wales.
I prefer to use the self timer
We do look much better in reality: hiking the Taff Trail in Wales.
or rather not to take any photos at all. I know what I look like myself, after all, so there is no need to put it on film.
As everybody seems to be equipped with camera phones nowadays, I have also began to think about asking strangers to take photos with their own cameras and giving them my e-mail address for them to e-mail the results to me. On my next trip, I will test how people will react to this proposition.
Diamond Jubilee of Queen Elizabeth II
Since February 1952, Elizabeth II has been the Queen of the United Kingdom and a few other Commonwealth countries, putting her into a league with other long-reigning heads of state like King Bhumibol Adulyadej of Thailand, Muammar Gaddafi in Libya or Fidel Castro in Cuba. You will have noticed that none of the members of this elite circle was democratically elected.
"If you are stupid enough to continue to pay for us, we will continue to pester and embarrass you."
The 60th anniversary of the ascension to the throne is being celebrated in the UK and other Commonwealth countries as the “Diamond Jubilee“. I already expressed my dismay about this undemocratic relict here and here. I could use this occasion to do so again, but I found something much better in the German satirical magazine Titanic which I will translate for you below.
Here the original in German, published as part of the series “Versager der Geschichte” (“failures of history”):
Seit sechzig Jahren (in Worten: 60) sitzt sie nun schon auf dem Thron und verstopft die britische Monarchie: Queen Elizabeth II. Die zäheste aller Krampfhennen hat von ihrer Mutter (Queen Mum) die Unverwüstlichkeit geerbt, aber so etwas Grundsympathisches wie deren Ginsüffeltum sich nie angeeignet. Bieder, blaß und triefend vor Deppenwürde stinkt sie gegenüber allen ihren Vorgängen auf dem hochsubventionierten Monarchensessel ab: Nicht einen einzigen Lebensabschnittspartner hat sie aufs Schafott gebracht – und sollte sie doch je ein Mitglied ihres Boulevardfressenhofstaates beseitigt haben, dann geschah das gemäß ihres Schoßhündchengemüts: unauffällig und ohne Respekt für die spektakuläre Mörderhistorie ihres Amtes. Auch in Sachen Folter blieb sie stets eine Null – sieht man einmal davon ab, daß sie die Öffentlichkeit mit den einzigen Gestalten foltert, die noch schlimmer sind als sie: ihrer Familie. Der früh vergreiste Trottelgatte, der schamlose wie peinliche Sohn mit der Goofy-Visage… Und erst die Enkel: die fickrige Pub-Nase, der debile Vorzeige-Schwiegersohn. Von dem angeheirateten Genmüll mal ganz zu schweigen! Ihre Zähigkeit und die Brut, die sie mal hinterlassen wird, wird ihre Schreckensherrschaft noch auf Jahre hinaus sichern. Glückwunsch!
And here my attempt at a translation in English:
For 60 years she has now been sitting on the throne and has clogged up British monarchy: Queen Elizabeth II. From her mother (Queen Mum) this most pertinacious of all spasmatic hens inherited the indestructibility, but unfortunately not something as likeable as the old lady’s habit of sipping Gin. Unsophisticated, pale and oozing with a douche bag’s dignity, she can be forgotten in comparison with her predecessors on the highly subsidised throne: she did not manage to push a single significant other onto the scaffold – and if she ever did get rid of a member of her tabloid gobsmack royal court, then it happened in tune with her lap dog mind: low-key and without any respect for her office’s spectacular history of murder. She always remained a similar nothing in regards of torture – unless you consider her torturing the public with the only creatures that are even worse than herself: her family. The senile baboon husband, the equally shameless as embarrassing son with the Goofy mug… And then the grandsons: the horny pub nose, the moronic trophy son-in-law. Not to speak of the in-lawed genetic trash. Her resilience and the brood which she will leave behind one day will secure her reign of terror for years to come. Congratulations!
If you find it too harsh, you may abdicate.
The true Identity of Mitt Romey
Mitt Romney, one of the Republican Party‘s contenders for President of the United States of America raises a question among voters: “Who is Mitt Romney really?” Obviously, even Republicans have some serious doubts about his identity. How else would you explain that the best-looking candidate who hasn’t done any mistakes in his campaign cannot pull ahead and out of a race with the likes of Newt Gingrich, Rick Santorum and Ron Paul?
Like you, I’ve been thinking “Who is Mitt Romney really?” while I was following the campaign over the past few weeks. Unlike you, I didn’t forget about the question the next minute to watch the NFL or to walk the dog, but I spent every free minute of my life on this investigative quest. I vowed not to give up, I vowed to look under every stone, for every piece of evidence. Because of this perseverance, ladies and gentlemen, voters and pundits, this blog can today reveal the world exclusive truth about Mitt Romney’s real identity:
But let’s start with the last shred of evidence that finally gave Mr Romney away. You know this feeling when you watch him or listen to him: you know there is something wrong, something fake, but you can’t quite put your finger on it. Then, today, I saw this photo of Mitt Romney making phone calls in Florida yesterday, on the day of the Florida primary.
I thought “I’ve seen this guy before, somewhere else, and he was not on a phone then. It was also not in Florida.” Then it suddenly dawned on me where I had met him before.
It had been a few years ago, but there could be no doubt. It was him.
- exactly the same hairstyle
- the same shirt
- no tie
- still good-looking even though the hair got a bit grey
- holding the phone now like he used to hold the gun back then
- and the same smirk
There are more give-aways, like the love for gambling:
the same dress code and pretend-serious look:
He never could resist women:
“So who is this guy?” you ask. Do not despair if you don’t recognize him, because it is his job to hide his true identity. Yet today, under immense fear for my own safety, I can reveal that Mitt Romney is James Bond, a British spy. His last cover was that of Pierce Brosnan, an actor, but had you ever wondered why Pierce Brosnan hadn’t appeared in too many films in recent years? Now you have the explanation! He was busy in Massachusetts.
Did you, like many others, also wonder what this “Bain Capital” venture capitalism story was about? Now it’s obvious why nobody understood what Mitt Romney did there: because he never really worked there!
Here is some more footage of “Mitt Romney” in his previous job:
And Mr Romney thought his Mormonism was a problem.
Superman in Venice
I hope nobody will make the connection between my stay in Venice and this “Superman” boat:
(Seen and photographed in Venice in January 2012. More photos to follow.)
Superman’s holiday mission in Venice might explain why he couldn’t help out here.
Would you want to live in “Toilet Creek”?
“Rio de la Toletta” may sound fabulous to foreign ears, but once you translate it, it is far less glamorous. Still, as all of Venice, it was beautiful.
Seen and photographed in Venice, Italy in January 2012. (More photos to follow.)
How to Pay for this Blog
Both you as the reader and me as the writer enjoy this blog:
- I enjoy writing for you to inform, educate, entertain and distract you. I enjoy sharing my thoughts and receiving your thoughtful comments about them. I enjoy travelling the world to take photos for you.
- You enjoy reading it and you cherish my photography skills. You are impressed by my wit and knowledge (as well as the blatant absence of any modesty). It is your preferred source of information. If you are a student, my blog has helped you to finish papers and assignments. Reading this blog improves your life.
But we also both face a dilemma concerning this blog:
- I have dozens of great ideas every week about what to write. Really brilliant ideas sometimes. But I cannot put them all into writing because I don’t have the time. I have to study and sometimes I also have to work a bit to finance my life. Because I don’t get paid for writing this blog, I cannot always prioritize it. Great ideas remain dormant and eventually wither because of this dilemma.
- You on the other hand don’t want to pay me for writing a blog because you don’t know in advance if you will like my posts (enough). You may enjoy some of my articles, but you find others really silly. You may think that I don’t write regularly enough to warrant an annual subscription fee. A paywall (like my colleagues at the Wall Street Journal, The Times or the New York Times have installed it) is therefore not practical.
I am sure you can detect the vicious circle. But vicious circles are there to break them.
I suggest the following solution:
- You may continue to read the blog for free.
- If you like an article or a series of articles so much that you feel the urge to express your appreciation, you pick a book from my wishlist and send or pass it to me.
- For this, I will reward you with two extra services:
- I will write a review of the book (after having read it, of course).
- You can pick a subject of your choice, and I will write a blog post about it.
- Deal?
- Thank you very much in advance!
Support your favourite blogger!
Film Review: “Mission: Impossible – Ghost Protocol”
Mission: Impossible – Ghost Protocol is the fourth instalment in the Mission: Impossible series, a series known more for improbable stunts and action than for a plausible storyline. Ghost Protocol fits right in.
Not that the story matters that much, but Ethan Hunt (Tom Cruise) and his team of IMF agents are disavowed by the US administration (hence the title Ghost Protocol) after they are blamed for an explosion at the Kremlin. Without any backup, support, safe houses, access to satellites or to extraction protocols, they have to stop a nuclear war from being launched. The chase takes them from Budapest via Moscow to Dubai and Mumbai.
An action film has to be judged on the action scenes. The pace of the film is fast, with no lulls or lows. Some of the action sequences look too unrealistic, for example the explosion at the Kremlin, the high-speed car chase in the sandstorm in Dubai and the fact that agents escape barrages of bullets. I don’t mean to criticise that they are unrealistic, because that’s to be expected in a movie, but that they look unrealistic, computer-generated. Anyone who has – like me – seen real explosions, sandstorms and car crashes will be able to tell the difference.
Other aspects of Mission Impossible 4 that I have to list as negative:
- The annoying IMF face masks are back again. Can’t this technology be shelved finally? They don’t serve to cover up faces, but huge holes in the plot.
- This time, one of the agents is not lowered into a shaft by a cable, but by a magnetic suit. Still the same old idea. Let’s have something new, please!
- Why does there have to be a silly and pointless story about Ethan Hunt’s wife, involving one of his team members?
- The romance between Jane Carter (Paula Patton) and Trevor Hannaway (Josh Holloway) is equally silly and pointless – but luckily brief – that it reminded me of a similar romance between two agents in Team America: World Police.
- The disguise of Ethan Hunt and Benji Dunn (Simon Pegg) as Russian generals was as bad as the disguise of the police officers in Starsky & Hutch as rockers. They even copied the moustache.
- A hand-to-hand combat between two woman in tight dresses is too much of a cliché.
Don’t look down.
Another action sequence looks realistic because it was filmed on site instead of being computer-generated (see the video at the bottom): Ethan Hunt climbs part of the wall of the Burj Kalifa in Dubai, the world’s highest building, to access the server room on the 130th floor. Watching Ethan Hunt attempting this feat without any harness, only equipped with two magnetic gloves, of which one fails, this scene already got me sweating from watching it.
Some more of the positive aspects of Mission Impossible 4:
Do look down.
- The hand-to-hand combat scene in the automatic high-rise car park is something new and quite good. (Except maybe for the final and voluntary vertical dive with a BMW.)
- There is some humour.
- Jane Carter (Paula Patton) is hot!
Overall, it’s a solid action film. Good enough to kill some time while we are all waiting for Skyfall, the next James Bond film, due to come out in October 2012. I still wish though that the film’s director Brad Bird would have worked on a sequel to his fantastic animation movie The Incredibles instead.
Here is a short “making of” the best action scene in the film:
Posted in Cinema
Tagged Cinema, Mission Impossible, mission impossible 4, movies, Paula Patton, Tom Cruise
8 Comments
Bundespräsident Wulff “angeschlagen”
Immer wenn ich höre, daß Bundespräsident Wulff durch seine Affären, Fehler, Einschüchterungsversuche und Ausflüchte “angeschlagen” ist, muß ich an das folgende Video denken:
(aus “Ritter der Kokosnuß” von Monty Python)
“Angeschlagen” wird nach ein paar Malen zu “schwer beschädigt”, dann zu “unhaltbar” und schließlich – wie im obigen Film – zur lächerlichen Witzfigur.
Posted in Germany, Politics
Tagged Bundespräsident, Christian Wulff, Deutschland, Monty Python, Politik
2 Comments
The Personification of Greek Austerity
Greece first cooked its books to enter the Eurozone, then used cheap credit to live beyond its means. A profligate pact by the Greek government and the Greek people expanded the state and ran up deficits and debt. With a budget deficit of more than 15% of GDP and government debt of more than 126% of GDP, Greece is one of the most indebted countries in the world. Tax evasion is rampant.
In order to receive further loans – on which Greece seems to be hooked like an addict – the Greek government has reluctantly promised some austerity measures and economic reforms. Except for some cuts and tax rises, the reforms have mostly been empty promises so far. Oddly, Greeks still think that none of this is their fault and that austerity is not necessary. Because of this, attending one of the many strikes is much preferred over working on reforming the country, as is blaming the EU, the IMF and Germany in particular.
The Greek Finance Minister, Evangelos Venizelos, perfectly personifies the Greek attitude to austerity.
Evangelos Venizelos to Mario Draghi, head of the European Central Bank: "Move over the money, Mario!"
Evangelos Venizelos to Jean-Claude Juncker, Prime Minister of Luxembourg: "Come on, just a few million. You have so many Euros in your little country."
Evangelos Venizelos to Jean-Claude Trichet, former head of the ECB: "Austerity? Reforms? You guys in Frankfurt really have funny ideas!"
"I wonder if I can eat these two stars when nobody is watching."
Evangelos Venizelos to François Baroin, French Finance Minister: "What do you mean, you have steaks of less than half a meter? How is that enough for breakfast?"
"What a stupid meeting. No food at all!"
The Happy Hermit 