What was I thinking?

Sometimes, buried deep in a pile of paper with other things I once deemed interesting or noteworthy, I find a sheet with my own handwriting. It usually has a crisp headline, underlined, followed by a first paragraph of what should have become a story, but which, for lack of time or energy or peace at the time, remained a skeleton. A skeleton, which, unlike most other skeletons, never had the joy of walking or swimming or flying. Because I, the creator, never finished the birthing process.

Sometimes, there are a few notes about how the action would have progressed, who could have said what, who should have died and who should have lived. Or there are notes about the intention of the story or, to be precise and honest, the intended intention of the intended story.

Sometimes, after only a few paragraphs of cursory notes, there is already the final sentence, like a pediment planned, commissioned and constructed before one has even bought the piece of land for the library to be built on.

Sometimes, these notes provide an idea about my former self, about my way of thinking at another time, in another place, under other circumstances, always younger, but often only arithmetically so.

And sometimes, I can’t make sense of what I once deemed putdownworthy, try as I might. Then I am wondering, “What the hell was I thinking back then?”, and throw what was once the short-if-at-all-lived zygote of a story into the wastebasket. The one with paper, of course, which I shall take to the recycling container in town the next time I feel like having kebab or cake.

Now, if I was a painter and found a similarly undeveloped and sketchy draft that made no more sense to me today than an accident, I would probably take it to a gallery and sell it.

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Venta Micena – Day 9/30

Now I know where everyone has been hiding.

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How Social Media saved Yemen

Two countries walk into a bar, because there was an offer for any couple whose names start with the same letter.

Says Yugoslavia: “I was so unlucky that my wars already took place in the early 1990s. A few years later, and the internet would have saved us. My people could have alerted the world about the massacres and the threat of genocide via Twitter and Facebook. Surely, the global community would have come to our help. And if that hadn’t worked, we would have held our children and cats into the camera and uploaded the videos on YouTube. That might seem a bit desperate, even cheesy, but nobody would have remained untouched. Too bad that these social media came too late. We could still be alive.”

Answers Yemen: “Oh, you naive …”

They are interrupted by the sound of bombs, explosions, screams for help. Analog, digital, multimedia.

But nobody listens. The world is watching football and twittering photos of beaches, burritos and bikinis.

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“Quick, find the router! If we are offline, nobody will care about us.”

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Granada is overrated

I had already become skeptical, with all the praise heaped on Granada. “Most beautiful city in Spain, best example of Moorish architecture anywhere in the world, breathtaking, fascinating, spectacular, unique, and so on.”

But when I got there, well, see for yourself.

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Granted, the mountains in the back looked great, reflecting the last rays of the setting sun. But it was by far not as grand as I had expected.

I couldn’t even find a hotel.

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Venta Micena – Day 8/30

When the owners of the house in Venta Micena moved here 15 years ago, they thought: “This place needs a forest.”

And thus they planted one. A beautiful one, looking quite natural and wild. It even has its own temperate microclimate.

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It also has a practical use because of the fruit trees. Each day before I depart for a walk, I take a few apples with me. And I have never tasted yummier apples before.

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The apples also make the forest attractive for foxes and wild boar, but so far, I haven’t spotted anything more ferocious than a cat.

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Venta Micena – Day 7/30

When you saw the remote village and the old farmhouse where I am staying, you were probably wondering if I even had access to water. But you needn’t have worried.

There is even a private swimming pool behind the house.

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No reason to get jealous, though, because I don’t really know how to swim.

If you ever want to come here for holiday, the house is available on Booking and on AirBnB. If it will be your first time using AirBnB, you may sign up via this link to receive 25 € in credit. On Booking, you receive 15 € if you sign up via this link.

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Venta Micena – Day 6/30

So, you already got a first impression of the village, the house and the cat. But the surrounding landscape is quite beautiful, too. Here are some views from my first walk.

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Venta Micena – Day 5/30

I had gone out to take photos of the sunset. But when I turned around, I observed something far more rare and spectacular: the rise of the full moon, at exactly the same time as the sun was setting opposite.

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I knew it would be getting dark, but I just couldn’t get myself to leave the hilltop from where I was observing this coincidence of celestial movements. And thus, I had to walk back to Venta Micena in the night, with the moon as the only source of light and the church tower as the only orientation point.

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Once safely back, walking through the deserted streets of what I always thought of as a deserted village, I realized that I don’t seem to be the only person living here. Because in one other house, the lights were on.

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Curious, I went there the next day, but all the window shutters were rolled down, the door boarded up, as if the lights at night had only shone in my mind. Yet, I swear that every night since, I see flickers of candlelight and hear scraps of conversation coming from that mysterious house. Thus far, I haven’t mustered the courage to investigate further.

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“Munich” by Robert Harris

Robert Harris, an experienced writer of historical thrillers, has taken on the Munich Agreement of 1938, in which Germany and the United Kingdom agreed that Germany could annex parts of Czechoslovakia. At the time, people believed that such a concession, at the expense of Czechoslovakia, which was not a party to the agreement, would prevent another world war. It didn’t. But you already knew that.

9781784751852And that’s one problem with Munich. For how do you create suspense about a historical event that everyone knows, or of which everyone knows at least the consequences? An author who doesn’t want to wade into “alternative history” would need to find a subplot that is less known.

Harris picks two subplots, one real, one fictional. The Oster Conspiracy, indeed less known, suffers from the same fault as the main plot. We know there was no coup-attempt against Hitler in 1938. (The one you are thinking of now, remembering Valkyrie, was in 1944.)

The fictional subplot about two diplomats, one British, one German, who know each other from Oxford is basically limited to the German’s attempt to pass a document to the British without other Germans noticing. And that, in essence, is the whole book. It’s about people copying papers, transporting papers, sending telegrams and not receiving papers.

And yes, it’s as boring as it sounds.

But even worse than boring, the book is full of clichés. Hitler’s voice is always “like iron”, most Nazis are drunk and “smell of steel, leather and sweat”, and of course the two diplomats once had the same girlfriend whom they will meet again, in a plot twist which is neither plot nor twist, just pointless to the point of annoyance.

Many reviewers have, in the absence of anything else worthy of praise, applauded the meticulous research done by Harris. I couldn’t see it. For someone who writes in the afterword that he has been interested in the Munich Agreement for 30 years and who explicitly thanks his German translator and other experts for their help, the book is still full of mistakes. Hitler’s bodyguard unit was really not called “Liebstandarte”, as there was nothing lovely about them. When allegedly quoting German documents, Harris gets the German date format and place names wrong. Maybe worst of all is Hitler’s girlfriend, who is dubbed “Fräulein Brown” in this book.

If you want to read a really good book by Robert Harris, I recommend An Officer and a Spy about the Dreyfus affair. I am curious to hear how you rate his books. I have also read The Ghost, which I found too obviously anti-Blair, and Fatherland, which I read decades ago. I remember that I liked it, but I was a teenager back then, and I am not sure if I would trust my younger self.

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Venta Micena – Day 4/30

Easy to find.

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