The Happy Hermit

Prepared for Self-Defence

Posted on 2012-03-16 by Andreas Moser

After the vicious threats against my life this morning, I have assembled everything that I could find in my armoury. Now, I am prepared. Prepared for the full onslaught or the sneak attack, prepared at day and at night, at home and on the road. I am prepared to defend myself with the latest military hardware.

Of course, I don’t want a war. But I hope that the arsenal that you see here proudly displayed will be enough of a deterrence to make you think twice. Or thrice, if necessary.

Of course I also have the ammo to go with it. Somewhere.

This is a bit immobile. But I will lure you into an ambush before you realise it.

And yes, I got myself a tank:

I may have nuclear weapons, even. But I will neither confirm nor deny this.

Peace!

Posted in Military, Photography | Tagged guns, tank, weapons | 10 Comments

Welcome to Malta?

Posted on 2012-03-16 by Andreas Moser

This morning at 0926 I received an anonymous phone call that began by asking for my identity although I always answer the phone with my name.

Andreas? Is that you?

I confirmed that it’s me and said a very friendly “good morning”. The caller broke into the following tirade:

Now listen: You get off our island, you fucking Zionist, you fucking Nazi swine. You go back to Germany.

Stop writing about Malta and leave us the fuck alone.

And go to Germany, don’t even go to Palestine, because you are not welcome there.

Do you understand me?

Unfortunately, I was too busy laughing – mainly about the fact that somebody calls me a Zionist and a Nazi in the same rant – to respond.

I wonder which of my articles about Malta incensed this person so much, although based on the comments on my blog I have a hunch it must have been this one.

Other than this call, I have been made to feel very welcome in Malta. But now I am waiting for some Molotov cocktails or some poison in my pastizzi.

Posted in Malta | 50 Comments

Why I don’t ask people to take photos of myself, # 2

Posted on 2012-03-16 by Andreas Moser

Because when I do something really, really cool, they cut my head off:

Me, jumping across a frighteningly wide and deadly deep ravine in the Negev desert in Israel.

Posted in Israel, Photography, Travel | Tagged adventure | 5 Comments

My Home is my Castle

Posted on 2012-03-16 by Andreas Moser

Yes, Britain really is that foggy.

At St Michael’s Mount in Cornwall, England in 2010.

Posted in Photography, Travel, UK | Tagged Cornwall | 2 Comments

How far to the right is Rick Santorum?

Posted on 2012-03-15 by Andreas Moser

Sorry, Mr Santorum, I can’t see you properly.

Even on my wide-screen TV, you are still too far to the right.

Posted in Politics, USA | Tagged republican primaries, Rick Santorum, Santorum | 3 Comments

The inevitable Mr Romney

Posted on 2012-03-15 by Andreas Moser

Despite the inconclusiveness of “Super Tuesday”, it looks like Mitt Romney is slowly but surely crawling towards the nomination of the Republican Party to become its candidate for President of the United States of America. Excitement in a party looks different, but he does have more delegates for the convention already than his contenders combined. Unless he will commit a major mistake, Mitt Romney is indeed the inevitable candidate to run against Barack Obama in November 2012. Probably, Mitt Romney is too boring even to commit a major mistake.

We have already investigated the hidden past of Mitt Romney, but today we want to look at the inevitable candidate from a different perspective.

Mitt Romney tried to run for President once before, in 2008. He lost in the Republican primaries against John McCain.

Who was this John McCain who beat Mitt Romney? John McCain was the guy who had previously lost against George W. Bush in 2000.

So the Republican Party pins all its hopes on the guy who lost against the guy who lost against George W. Bush? Why doesn’t this party simply acknowledge that they have nobody like Barack Obama?

After all, even Republican John McCain thinks that Barack Obama is the perfect president:

Posted in Politics, USA | Tagged Mitt Romney, republican primaries | 4 Comments

Easily confused (1)

Posted on 2012-03-14 by Andreas Moser

A missed carriage.

A miscarriage.

Aren’t you thankful that I didn’t pick a more realistic photo of a miscarriage?

Posted in Language | 9 Comments

Romanic languages

Posted on 2012-03-14 by Andreas Moser

Romanic languages are like the meals at McDonalds: If you know one of them, you know all of them.

This – unjustifiedly disparaging – thought came to my mind as I am trying to decide which language to learn next.

Posted in Language | 8 Comments

The logic of Nicolas Sarkozy

Posted on 2012-03-12 by Andreas Moser

“We have too many foreigners” in France, said Nicolas Sarkozy before threatening that France might leave the Schengen zone of passport-free travel.

Nicolas Sarkozy forgot to mention that his father is Hungarian, that his mother’s family was originally from Spain, later settled in Greece which was then part of the Ottoman Empire and that they had to flee within France to escape from the Nazis during World War II. By the way, I seem to remember that Mr Sarkozy’s wife is Italian and his previous wife’s parents were from Moldova, Spain and Belgium.

"Madame, I will deport you personally."

The polls must look really dire if somebody with this background resorts to xenophobic bashing of immigrants. I don’t like any of the main contenders of Mr Sarkozy, but I definitely would never vote for such a dangerous agitator.

Posted in France, Politics | Tagged immigration, Nicolas Sarkozy, Sarkozy | 12 Comments

Why Putin really cried

Posted on 2012-03-05 by Andreas Moser

When Vladimir Putin was ~~appointed dictator for life~~ re-elected as President on 4 March 2012, he had tears in his eyes when he appeared in front of ~~government employees who had been ordered to attend~~ jubilant voters.