“I am Ebola,” he said, extending his hand with rather too much confidence, as if this was a job interview instead of a date.
She hardly had time to sit down before he continued: “I am currently the most feared virus in the world. I have virtually shut down the Western part of Africa, with more than 5,700 confirmed deaths. I kill more than 50% of my victims, and lately I was even a hot topic in the US election campaign.”
“People all around the world are really scared of me,” he added after a pause which was too obviously planned for its effect. She could imagine him practicing it in front of the mirror.
As he rambled on about infections, symptoms, the lack of vaccines, the fear of medical staff and closed airports, she was no longer listening, checking out other people at the bar instead. It had been a mistake to agree on a date with a guy much younger than herself.
Relief was her first reaction when, after the most boring 45 minutes of her life, he said: “Hey, I am sorry I need to run, but there are more people to be infected.” His faced turned into a big winking smiley, which despite its fakeness invited one to punch him for real.
“That was a very cute story,” she said, knowing that he would hate that word. Her smile was authentic, if scoffing. “My name is the Plague, but I am retired now.” It didn’t seem to register.
As she walked home, alone underneath the misty moon, for the first time in centuries she contemplated making a comeback. Just to put these overeager youngsters in their place.
Silence has fallen over the minibus. The last conversations and the radio have died down while the driver concentrates on the winding road cutting through the mountains. The passengers’ gaze falls into deep canyons, on the fall-colored forests and on the mountains in the distance which, together with the sinister clouds, exude a menacing aura.
In Nikšić we had to change from a normal-size bus to a minibus. The roads on the way to the Durmitor mountains in Montenegro are too winding and the incline is too steep for regular coaches. Maybe the bus company also tries to limit its financial risk, if ever a bus would stray from the road and crash unsavably into one of the canyons.
A woman gets off the bus in the nowhere, carrying several shopping bags. I don’t see any house around, nor any settlement. On the map, the next village is 10 km away. Close to the pass summit, there is a sofa next to the road. Relatively new, but without any discernible use at this forlorn place.
It keeps getting darker. The clouds are heavy and hanging so deep that it’s impossible to tell where they stop and where the fog begins. The sun is not cognizable. It isn’t night, it isn’t yet dusk, but it doesn’t feel like daytime either. It’s like an unidentifiable time of day which was created for this place alone. Every five or ten kilometers, someone steps off the bus. Nobody has gotten on since Nikšić.
Around two hours later, a high plateau opens up with wide meadows, a few cows, sporadic houses, half of them decayed, the other half warped by the wind. A rough, barren landscape. The few houses are far apart from each other. The scene looks like the painting of someone who didn’t want to waste the dirty residue colors in the paint-box and therefore quickly scribbled something in grey, black, brown and sallow dark-green. Faded color photos from World War II look exactly like this. Or the Scotland scene in Skyfall.
It doesn’t rain, it doesn’t storm, it doesn’t thunder, as if the dark, close clouds are satisfied with posing the constant threat of severe weather. The heating on the bus warms my feet, but my upper body is freezing. Some of the passengers have put on their caps. Still no word is uttered. It’s a feeling like on a ride into the dangerous unknown, as if winter will break out in the next few days and we will be trapped up here for a few months. Žabljak lies at an altitude of 1,455 m (4,773 ft) and is the highest town in the Balkans. The airport ceased to operate long ago.
At this moment, I cannot imagine that summer would ever find its way here. The grey mountains stand to the sides of the wide valley like curses that became stone, as if they would want to keep out anything happy, colorful, lively. They would cast dark shadows on the withered meadows, if only the sun got through the fog and if the bleached grass was receptive for shadows.
Here is a video in which you can already recognize the first houses of the town of Žabljak:
When we arrive, only three passengers are left on the bus. Final destination. It’s ice-cold. A jittering man at the bus station offers me a guest room for 9 € per night. Unfortunately, I already booked something, for 15 € per night. And for three days. Three days at this eerie, inhospitable, cold, colorless place. Tomorrow will be Halloween.
Addendum: For the sake of fairness, I should mention that after two days of foggy murk, the sun broke through and it became very beautiful indeed. Due to this contrast, the Durmitor mountains have taken up a special place in my travel memories.
Addendum 2: The mood which I experienced and described is depicted very well in a film by National Geographic. I didn’t run into the old lady with the rifle unfortunately.
The gruff reply “We have a strict anti-smoking policy!” did not respond to my question in any recognizable way, hence I decided to abort the discussion before it had properly begun. A smug smile was the only reward I could muster for the lack of literary education of the medical staff, before striding away through the long corridor, in the direction of the far too small garden of the far too prohibitive hospital.
There I recognized what the sad creatures in wheelchairs, grey blankets, and with tubes leading out of them and back into them needed. Tomorrow I would bring a whole box of cigars.
In a year without any new James Bond film, fans like me spend hoursdays weeks on YouTube re-watching favorite scenes, listening to the soundtracks and looking for new compilations and other videos put together by fellow fans.
The best compilation I have found is this one, where someone has put together clips from 22 James Bond films in order and in sequence. So, this has (roughly) the first five minutes of Dr No, minutes 5 to 10 of From Russia with Love, minutes 10 to 15 of Goldfinger, and so on all the way to the final five minutes of Quantum of Solace.
It’s a whole new film in itself and a nice way to compare the style, the fashion, the gadgets, the acting as they have evolved over the decades. Of course this means that some of my favorite scenes are omitted, but whoever did this (step forward, please, because you deserve a lot of applause) did masterful sequencing between the films. Some of them work so seamlessly that it took me a few seconds to realize that I was already watching the next movie.
Mix yourself a vodka martini and enjoy these two hours!
Yesterday, we had the second round of Presidential elections here in Romania. When the exit polls put the two remaining candidates, Victor Ponta (currently the Prime Minister) and Klaus Iohannis (currently the mayor of Sibiu), neck-to-neck, it started to become an interesting evening.
Not knowing much about Romanian politics did not prevent me from weighing in on Twitter. These are some of the thoughts that went through my mind last night:
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Romanian diaspora proves that 25 years after the fall of communism, they still love to queue all day long without knowing what they will get in the end.
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Romania: Fastest internet in Europe, longest queues outside polling stations.
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UKIP will use the photos of Romanians queuing to vote for another xenophobic campaign: “Millions of Romanians apply for benefits in UK.”
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Romanian elections confirmed that for a politician, there are worse things than being boring. [The first thing that everyone told me about Klaus Iohannis was: “Oh my god, he is sooooo boring.” Before saying that they will vote for him.]
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Angela Merkel: “Thank you, Romania! Now I am no longer the most boring politician in Europe.”
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What a welcome: I moved to Romania last month, and now they elected a German as President. Dankeschön!
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What a silly election: two candidates, and at the end of the night one of them is President and the other one Prime Minister.
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With Klaus Iohannis as President and Victor Ponta as Prime Minister, I predict rising demand for constitutional lawyers in Romania.
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And, on the next day:
Today in Romania, half of the people are depressed (because of the rainy November weather) and half seem excited (because of the election).
The photo is from 1975 when there was a referendum on whether the UK should stay in the European Community. Margaret Thatcher was the leader of the Conservative Party back then. Given what she wears, I don’t think I need to point out her position on Europe. 67% of voters wanted to remain in the European Community (which later became the European Union).
It seems like Britain’s days in the EU are numbered. It is shocking to see how little the current British Prime Minister understands of Europe (and the same applies to most of the British media). Whenever I hear David Cameron talk about the EU, I want to mail him a copy of “The European Union for Dummies”.