How to spot a querulous client

Some clients are better not having. When you find out that someone takes up too much time or causes you a headache, it’s often the best thing to fire that client. Whenever I did that, clients were surprised: “But you can’t fire me!” Of course I can. We have a contract and I can terminate that contract.

Over time, one becomes quite good at spotting these querulous clients and doesn’t take them on in the first place. Let’s look at one such example which conveys a lot of the warning signs that lawyers should be on the look-out for:

From: justizcase@…

That’s a red flag already, an e-mail address just for this case. I have seen e-mails from ilovemybabyboy@… in child custody cases, mrinnocent@… in criminal cases and againstcorruptjudges@… Clients don’t seem to understand that we sometimes need to print out e-mails and submit them as evidence. Oh, by the way, you can’t imagine how many e-mail printouts from sexyvictoria@… and bigb00bs@… I have had to submit in family law cases. And yes, you can reach me at andreas@hot-shot-lawyer.com.

Re: query help with claim to european court and or claim against behorde in Berlin

That’s the biggest red flag already in the subject line!

People who want to go to the Supreme Court or “the European Court” (which one?) or “the International Court” (which one? with even more options) are always wackos and never pay their lawyer’s bill. Yes, always and never.

First, you can’t usually address the highest court without having gone through all lower courts. Second, I always ask clients: “Why do you plan from the outset to go the European Court of Human Rights? You can only do that if you lose at all previous levels. Why would that be your plan A?” It turns out they want to fight against “the system” and give their life a purpose. This seems highly attractive to conspiracy nuts, but I have a feeling we’ll get to this.

dear Mr Moser, I hve been looking for help for some months.

Meaning you have already annoyed dozens of other people.

I have posted on some international law school sites

Ah yes, as suspected. By the way, what’s an “international law school”?

to try and find someone to help with what has amounted to serious breaches of EU law

Of course. Very serious. But not serious enough to quote the law allegedly breached.

involving corrupt Judges, corrupt lawyers that quite frankly stitched me up and their actions left me on the street penniless and nearly dead with lost possessions.

And here we have the promised conspiracy theory. The whole “system” is in cahoots to conspire against the innocent victim, who will relentlessly fight against corruption, or at least relentlessly spam any lawyer whose e-mail address they can find.

at the moment I still am and need to find a lawyer again in Munich. I was in Berlin last year. Unfortunately not having much luck.

Whenever you are the third or fourth lawyer on a case, something is wrong with the client.

my submissions submitted to sz gericht this time, were done on a prono basis and expected a good outcome. the judge however has relied on the fabricated and fraudulent informaton from the jobcenter and ignored our evidence.

Again the conspiracy. Because a judge simply having a different opinion or interpreting the law differently is not enough.

“Jobcenter” refers to the German unemployment agency, so now I know that the case probably centers on benefits denied.

now i have no one representing me and the order made that the sozialamt pay me for two months pending a further decison, they have not even paid that. that happened last year in berlin as well by the way. also the lawyer had asked the court to make an urgent order for a pension for me, and although the court said I should try to sort this out with the sozialamt, nothing has happend and I am still homeless.

That sounds like a problem indeed, but it would just be so much more credible if it could be conveyed in a calm manner and without believing that the justice system of the Federal Republic of Germany is conspiring against a poor lady by not paying her for two months. (Although admittedly, mistakes are made and laws are misapplied by the unemployment agency. But the reason we know this is that courts usually rectify it.)

MY LIFE HAS BEEN PUT AT RISK REPEATEDLY:

I was already worried there wouldn’t be a single sentence in all caps.

doyou thin you could help please.?

I would prefer not to.

the claim to the behorde is an option to the european court

Which European Court? And why would the European Union or the Council of Europe be concerned with a small dispute about unemployment benefits?

but I have suffered so much this past year.. someone has to pay for this unlawfulness.

This is a typical motivation of querulous clients. It’s often less about their own advantage or benefit, but about making someone else pay, and if only by holding up the whole state bureaucracy by writing letters every day.

But remember this: if you are a lawyer and you accept such a case, it’s always yourself who will end up paying.

Ana E[…]

The best way to deal with such requests is to delete and ignore them. The second best way is to quote a fee that you know they cannot pay. So I replied:

Dear Ana,

unfortunately I charge 400 EUR for a consultation.

To which Ana replied:

I see. Can you suggest someeone. surely you could be compensated through the money that I would get from behorde, you could take a fee from that.

Like the previous lawyers?

high prosepct of success.

Ah yes. Hence all the winning.

was told they have to pay the rent that was never paid etc, or can you suggest how I can get referred to a probono firm that does this sort of case, as it could well be a test case etc.

You’ve been looking around the internet for months, e-mailing anyone who can’t run away fast enough, yet you are still asking me to refer you to someone? And why would I burden my lawyer friends with referrals like that? Unlike me, they don’t have a funny blog for which they are gathering material.

When people think their case is important enough to be a “test case” (which contradicts the “high prospect of success”), they almost always overestimate their case. And, either way, even test cases need to be paid for. I may eat a test cake for free, but your case sure doesn’t look like cake to me.

I still not even know what the last decison of the landesozialgericht says and one one will tell me it is bizarre,

Oh. So your analysis of “high prospect of success” is based on a court decision that you haven’t read?

I asked the previous lawyer but lawyers are strange in germany, they feel they do not need to explain or discuss things or tell clients who are non german speaking what is in them.

Yeah, we only work when we get paid. Really strange.

I will do it myself if you would be so kind as to tell me or send me a format template pleaes for claiming against the behorde in Licthtenberg.

Sorry, there are no templates for highly important test cases. Also, a template is not enough to fight a wall of corruption.

I am entitled to those monies in order to get my stuff back from the landlord. that is a serious breach of article 8.

Article 8 of what? Ok, probably of the European Convention on Human Rights (which is not EU law, as claimed above). But if I wasn’t such a hot-shot lawyer, who could guess?

would you be at least willing to tell m ethe paragraph in the decision relating to the money, what it says please ?

I don’t know, I haven’t received or seen any court decision. (None was ever attached.)

But in any case, we had a different problem, which I pointed out to the lady:

No, I can’t do anything unless I get paid.

This was some time ago. I unearthed the correspondence now because I have recently begun to publish more of these stories on my blog. Out of curiosity, I e-mailed justizcase@…, innocently inquiring about the outcome of the case. To which she replied:

none of your business.

fuck off or I will report you.

To whom?

Thank Fck I dont live in Fascist Racist Germany

Well, thank Fck (whoever that is) that I was smart enough not to help.

Sadly, the courts don’t have that choice.

By the way, all the e-mails from people who compare the contemporary German justice system to Nazi jurisprudence would fill another article.

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About Andreas Moser

Travelling the world and writing about it. I have degrees in law and philosophy, but I'd much rather be a journalist, a spy or a hobo.
This entry was posted in German Law, Germany, Law and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

22 Responses to How to spot a querulous client

  1. David says:

    Pretty funny, though sad. Sounds like she needs more medical help than legal.

  2. deeess says:

    Ok, this was one of the best legal reads in your blog to date! I think some of these folks would struggle to find their way around a tennis court, nevermind a court of law. Perhaps next time you get the ‘Can you recommend someone…’ query, send the details for the Nigerian lawyer (sorry, forgot. He is a ‘barrister’) who is ‘acting on behalf of the persecuted politician / businesman / activist. I’m sure that between yourself and the readers, we can come up with hundereds of email addresses in our Junk Mail boxes

    • Oh yes, excellent idea!
      Those wacko clients and millionaire barristers would be made for each other. I am going to do that next time.

  3. Anonymous says:

    Your story not only entertained me, but it also warmed my heart: This bitch is no longer in Germany. Now, for the remaining who are just like her . . .

  4. Anonymous says:

    Thank goodness, Mysogynists like you will soon see the dirt.

    The only whacko is this man who is derranged, stalking and as a lawyer you should also know that this is now Libel. Now that we know where you are based.
    The world is full of Solicitors who are derranged, cocaine addicts and or crooks. I guess you are all three.
    From the Bitch to the Prick.

  5. Anonymous says:

    we know why you left Berlin. you are not a lawyer and a con artist. You use several different names and you have no licence to practice. We are told you were known in circles in Berlin for having a habit of liking boys and drugs.

    • I never lived in Berlin in my entire life.

    • Anonymous says:

      Lies and lies and more lies. blah blah blah,SUGGEST YOU READ YOUR PREVIOUS POSTS: You said you did in 2009. Oh just found the other post where you are defaming and slandering some woman. You are one hundred percent FAKE.

    • When you make too many allegations, they contradict each other. You have to be more careful with that. If you strive for consistency, that is.

  6. Anonymous says:

    I am replying on behalf of all Bitches in the world. My boyfriend just showed me your blog that you posted on family law. I then saw other comments and then did some research. You are no lawyer and a con artist. You have been reported and we have noted all the persons in your blog that you have defamed and slandered. you are nothing but a sad ranting deeply unhappy venemous person. I am a lawyer and no lawyer that is or has the right to practice would do what you are doing, Therefore we have taken the liberty to notify Interpol. Have a happy day. Remember, Happiness is a choice.

    • If you are a lawyer yourself, why did you contact me with your problems?
      And I am sure scared of Interpol now. Don’t forget to also notify the FBI, CIA and the Vatican.

    • Anonymous says:

      I have not contacted you ever to be my lawyer, is this a joke? I am a lawyer myself and would never approach someone on Skype, are you absolutely nuts? Looks like you have been hacking as well , good thing you have been reported.. and clearly you are high, as you are irrational, non sensical and nothing you say makes any sense . and is contradictory. If you are a lawyer and you are allowed to be advising people and by skype , then you have nothing to worry about.It seems that you call everyone crazy. Seems like the lady doth protest too much. No there is no need to contact the FBI etc, we just think that Interpol should be aware of your profile. You are scam artist. It is my duty to report that. I am no longer going to reply and it is now with google and the said authorities, we have contacted every single lawyers association in Europe and a few in USA, we will see what turns up about you more,than what we already know. Be careful who you trash, karma has a way of coming back ten thousand fold.

    • I hope you didn’t forget the Andorran Lawyers Association and the one in San Marino. Even the most querulous of people tend to forget about them and I always feel sorry for these smaller countries.

  7. Anonymous says:

    This is the most fun I have had all week, Andreas. To your perpetually confused correspondent: Keep it up, bitch!

  8. Anna says:

    Did she seriously call Germany “fascist” and “racist”? Very ironic…what a dolt. Oh, but only in *my opinion* of course- I wouldn’t want her to accuse me of “slander”, now would I?

  9. deeess says:

    Since this appears to be about talking trash, I hope the lady also contacted the Solomon Islands Environmental Law Association (SIELA) and Vanuatu Environmental Law Association (VELA). They may be small islands but the too have a voice! :-)

    *Gets more popcorn and sits back…*

    • The sad thing is that despite her informing everyone, I still haven’t been arrested by Interpol, the FBI or the Solomon Islands Police Department.

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