North Korean Motivational Music

We just had this one day in the year, whence everything will improve. Eat more healthily, get up earlier, study harder, work more productively and of course plenty of exercise.

All of these endeavors require the right kind of music to put you in the right mood!

Because of states’ rights, the Federal Department of Education is barred from producing student-motivating songs in the United States. And the National Conference of State Education Secretaries hasn’t been able to agree on one song either, mostly because Texas has been insisting on something with lots of “yeehaw”s, which understandably does meet some opposition from the musically adept states. The situation in other countries is similarly dire.

And thus, students around the world must avail themselves of North Korean propaganda for their morning motivation. (Activate the subtitles if you don’t understand Korean!)

At work, too, everything flows better, faster and more productively when several times a day, the loudspeakers spontaneously call you away from the desk for a few minutes of relaxing exercise. This is the Labor-Motivating Ballet of the Patriotic Textile Factory in Wonsan.

The workers know exactly how to move to the swinging rhythm, because from early childhood on, they have been following the morning exercise routine on North Korean television, which keeps the whole country fit and agile. (Or have you ever seen a fat North Korean? Okay, that one guy. But he does have a lot on his plate and has no time to watch TV.)

Now we know where Jane Fonda stole the idea for her workout videos.

Or do you generally find it difficult to motivate yourself in the morning and start the day with enthusiasm? That’s no problem, either. Simply call the Central Coordination Office for the Provision of Motivational Music for Commuters, tell them the time and route, and the drive to the office or factory will turn into a celebration of joy.

But careful, some people let it go to their heads.

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About Andreas Moser

Travelling the world and writing about it. I have degrees in law and philosophy, but I'd much rather be a writer, a spy or a hobo.
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7 Responses to North Korean Motivational Music

  1. If you get a click from Thailand, it may be from North Korea.

  2. I think the North Koreans stole some of John Travolta’s Saturday Night Fever moves😂

    Looking at that parade route all I can think of is the waste. All of the costumes and accessories… all of the materials and time… wasted for what? Ah, nevermind… I’m in a cynical mood lately.🤷🏼‍♀️

    • I always have the same thought: Thousands of people must have been training for months.
      Surely, there must be better uses of human time and talent! Even if everybody was just sitting and around and reading books, studying Spanish or calling their mom once in a while.

      And you just made me take a look at “Saturday Night Fever” for the first time.
      Finally I know what the disco scene in “Starsky & Hutch” refers to!

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