How to become a Millionaire (Quarantine Edition)

One of my more popular posts is the one on how to become a millionaire. It has helped hundreds of readers to fulfill their dream!

But what now, in times of the Corona crisis? When we can’t go to work, can’t leave the house, and, worst of all for capitalists, you can’t even go to the bank any longer?

So, I have been thinking hard. After some sleepless nights, devising and discarding plans, I think I have adapted my original strategy to a new fool-proof quarantine-possible strategy for becoming a millionaire.

It’s a 4-step plan:

  1. You need an initial investment of 15 US-dollars. You will find that in some drawer. If not, ask your mom or your government for a bailout.
  2. You go on eBay and look for Zimbabwe dollars. That’s the official currency of Zimbabwe. If you are in doubt, you will see that the Zimbabwean Central Bank is one of the sellers.
  3. For your 15 US-dollars, you can order at least 500 million Zimbabwean dollars. Including shipping. (Because you can’t pick it up in person during the quarantine.)
  4. Now you are happy because you are a millionaire.

Zimbabwe dollars

In step 5, you will realize what a silly, shallow and pointless goal you had set yourself. Depending on your personal level of wisdom, the time between step 4 and step 5 may vary from 30 seconds to 30 years. The same applies to the time that is required to recognize the deeper meaning behind this article. Some will die without getting it.


About Andreas Moser

Travelling the world and writing about it. I have degrees in law and philosophy, but I'd much rather be a writer, a spy or a hobo.
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9 Responses to How to become a Millionaire (Quarantine Edition)

  1. Ljiljana says:

    Not any millionaire, but a Zimbabwean one!
    Good point! 😊👌

  2. And if the madness has caused your local markets to STILL be out of toilet paper, you can always use your newfound wealth as a substitute!😉😂

  3. List of X says:

    I already have 100 Trillion Zimbabwean dollars, you losers!

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