In a few months, I might walk through the Colombian jungle. Besides snakes, alligators and mosquitoes, the other danger lurks from the rebel group FARC, who have a tendency to over-react when they encounter foreigners in territory that they control or fight over.
Swedish traveler Jan Philip Braunisch was kidnapped in 2013 and later killed. FARC suspected him of being a spy because he had a GPS and detailed maps with him.
These FARC guys must be some couch potatoes if they don’t know that it’s completely normal for any hiker to take maps and a GPS device when crossing a few hundred miles of mountainous jungle.
They are also a bit out of touch with modern technology. If anyone wanted to spy on rebel camps in the jungle, they would fly a drone over the suspected sites.
Unfortunately, I may also carry maps and a GPS with me, and I have often been suspected of being a spy before. Therefore, I am posting this article as a kind of insurance policy. When I will get captured, I will ask one of the FARC guys to go to the nearest internet café, go on my blog and search for this article. And then I hope that my logic works like this:
- If I was really a spy, I wouldn’t announce my visit beforehand, right?
- Also, you will probably notice that I don’t speak Spanish very well. Surely, someone more qualified could have been found.
- If I really was a spy, I wouldn’t write spy stories or post pictures of me with heavy weapons and thus draw unwanted attention to me.
- Lastly, if I was really a spy, I would travel under a completely different name and you wouldn’t be reading this.
So, please, don’t kidnap or murder me. Or if you have already kidnapped me and are reading this, let’s chill out, have some cigars and then you let me walk on. After all, there are peace negotiations happening right now, aren’t there?