For thousands of years, mankind has been divided between those who believe in the existence of unicorns and those who don’t. Those who are convinced that unicorns are more than mere creatures of legend have been exposed to ridicule and malice. I myself used to be rather sceptical, but I have to concede that the absence of evidence is no proof of the non-existence of something. (Whole religions survive on this principle.)
But then this happened: When I was in Palermo in Sicily, I wanted to spend some time in nature. I hiked up Monte Pellegrino and discovered an enchanting forest, so quiet, so green, so lush, so suffused with light that it felt like in a fairy tale. Through the trees, the sea glistened in the distance, birds were humming happily, and no noise from the nearby metropolis reached my ears. An experience of complete happiness.
It was then that I heard a noise between the trees. Not having my rifle with me, I pulled out my camera instead and thus became the first human being to record unicorns in the wild:
At this point, I had to cut the video because it became too brutal. The two unicorns fought ferociously (I could never find out what had sparked their controversy, but it might have been an argument about their existence) and wounded each other enough to ultimately die on the spot. I buried them both.
Based on my scientific exploration, these two were the last two living unicorns, resolving the disagreement to the satisfaction of both parties: there are no (more) unicorns. End of discussion.
(Natürlich gibt es diese sensationelle Enthüllung auch für meine deutschen Leser.)