Number of Tour de France victories by Lance Armstrong: zero
Number of my Tour de France victories: zero
But I achieved the same result as Lance Armstrong with much less sweat and toil and with fewer lawsuits.
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The Happy Hermit 
Okay, here’s the deal. I’ll get you Lance’s victories, but you’ll have to accept cancer in your “gentlemen’s vegetables”. Personally, I’ve never cared for the colour yellow. ;)
Fabulous post. Two thumbs up!