I try to avoid weddings. Actually, I try to avoid anything with a lot of people. But sometimes, very rarely, I attend one, always secretly pitying the groom and thinking of the wedding as a funeral, a funeral of freedom.
Time and time again I come across the same concept uttered by bride, bridesmaids and the other typical girlish characters that seem to be attracted by weddings: “A wedding is the most beautiful day of your life!”
I am shocked by this idea.
Not so much shocked because I fail to see what is beautiful in an event that consists of a room full of people, two families that secretly hate each other, half of the guests just attending because of the food or to pick up a girl or a guy, and that costs you or your parents more than you would need to live for a year in other parts of the world.
No, I am shocked at the negative, pessimistic and sad outlook about life that this sentence contains: If this day is “the happiest day of your life”, this implies that from now on it will go downhill. If you have already achieved something in your life, it means that you attribute greater value to convincing your boyfriend to sign a piece of paper than to your own graduation from university or to the business that you started. If you haven’t done anything with your life yet, you are signalling that there is nothing more to be expected from it.
If there is really nothing better, no more beautiful day, no more excitement to be expected from your future life, you might as well kill yourself.
Myself, if I want to experience one of the most beautiful days (of which I hope there will be many) in my life, I shoulder my backpack, set out for an adventure and discover paradise.
I wonder if this post will reduce the number of wedding invitations that I receive.
Oh oh, my girlfriend does not approve of this blog post.
Oh, I am used to your strange thoughts and silly comments.
I’ll partially agree with you. Both my wife and I agree that huge blowouts, wasting thousands of dollars, is insanity. We had a small wedding (less than 40 people total, 2 bridesmaids, 2 groomsmen), a small reception at our house, and saved the money for the honeymoon (which we took the week before the wedding – gotta shake up tradition!). I watched a friend of mine blow thousands on a huge wedding using a massive cathedral in Chicago, followed by a reception with hundreds of people, and he was MISERABLE.
I’ll fight you tooth and nail on getting married, though. Then again, I was lucky enough to find a woman who is a great friend and companion, AND willing to put up with me.
So, did you study the legal requirements for promotion of a person to sainthood? ;) :D
40 people? That’s a HUGE crowd! That’s more than a classroom or a bus.
I was thinking about a maximum of 2.
Today marriage, and everything around, is full of customs and traditions. Almost all customs are still used but their meanings have been lost.
A few months ago I went to a wedding. The bride wore a beautiful white dress for the celebration, and I asked myself: Why did she use a white dress (which is associated with purity and virginity) if she was 7 months pregnant?
The typical white bridal gown would have seemed quite odd only a few decades ago because until the 19th century European women wore red, gold and even black in their weddings. Now white is associated with purity and virginity and came into fashion in 1840 due to Queen Victoria, who used this color when she married.
The concept of matrimony is now a bit like Christmas in that it has become a marketing tool.
I don’t believe it is necessary to spend so much money on a wedding. If you are happy with your partner, it shouldn’t matter the place where you get married; it could be a small church or an office. The important thing is to be together and to be ready for marriage, and not only for the wedding, since the next day it wouldn’t be so nice to wake up and realize that you don’t have anything in common with this other person. (I know some cases.)
I wouldn’t like THIS to happen to me after dreaming the perfect day.
Jeez, here in the States 40 is NOTHING. Multiple hundreds is more the norm. And since my wife’s family represented over a third of that 40 at ours, ours was even more humble by the standards over here. And it was almost 20 years ago, so there was more money to toss around on (what we felt were) silly big shows.
We could’ve never done just us 2, neither of our families would’ve forgiven us! So the least we could’ve done would’ve been about 20. Throw in some close friends and some of my wife’s extended family, and there you go.
I really couldn’t see doing it with less than each spouse’s immediate family, but that’s just me. If you want to do the “justice of the peace” thing (as we refer to it – a civil ceremony), more power to you. Just get a friend to take some pictures – if for no other reason, then to share with us! :D
Yep, I agree. I don’t like going to weddings and the idea that that is the best day of your life – I always appalled that sentence, having heard it so many time – is just stupid, teaches little girls that their main focus in life should be to find a husband.
Then again, I don’t agree with the concept of marriage. :) And still I am a bundle of bubbly joy and excitement, lol.
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Boy oh boy, misery sure does love company.
Good job twisting words to make them seem empty and shallow. Clearly no woman who wishes to pursue many things in life honestly believes that her wedding day is THE happiest day of her life. But on that day, it truly is YOUR happiest day. I doubt you’ll ever experience that though since everything in life to you is miserable unless it goes against “the norm” in some way.
Clearly your POV is the only one that matters, though. For once I’d love to read a blog that actually looks at things in the adult world with an adult point of view – not one of a child.
Calling other opinions childish is of course a very adult thing to do.
“If this day is “the happiest day of your life”, this implies that from now on it will go downhill… If there is really nothing better, no more beautiful day, no more excitement to be expected from your future life, you might as well kill yourself.”
The logic there is a little weak. Just because someone might think of one day as “the best”, this implies nothing about there being “no more excitement” later. Just because one day is the happiest, does not mean that there would not exist a multitude of extremely happy days.
Many would even argue that getting married to a good mate *enables* just those multitude of extremely happy days.
I think “the happiest day of your life” implies that so far that is the happiest.. many more to follow though like giving birth, doing things in the plural rather than alone anymore…..
Having said that, I found your blogs to be rather amusing but after the fifth one they came a bit dull and too pessimistic on each and every topic you cover… so please Andreas lighten up… since you re on the island (Malta) we can meet up for a coffee and show you how to be more optimistic!!!
Good day to you… even though its not the happiest of them all!!
I am a fan of marriage and, in the case of friends, I enjoy celebrating with them their union, but I do get disturbed when people classify the day they take their vows as “the happiest day” of their lives. I thought most people went into marriage believing that their happiest days were ahead of them. Personally, I think all the hoopla and intense focus on decorations and presentation can be a dangerous distraction from what the day is really supposed to be about. A sober decision is being made–one that will bring joy, but also sorrow. I think most women enjoy it so much because it is their one day to have the entire universe (or so it seems) revolve around them and their wishes. That disgusts me. If the groom is lost in the fray, we have a problem. A wedding is a day that marks a union, not the emergence of a celebrity bride.
Amen brother! Pushing 50 and still free.
Actually my girlfriend (divorced) says that most women are into the idea of getting married i.e. the wedding, more so than of being married.
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