If stuff like this keeps happening, how am I supposed to get settled in a place?

Which idiot had the idea to comprise one list of all foreign agents? With their real and their cover names even. “Does anyone want the key to the apartment where the money is?” Ostap Bender from the novel Twelve Chairs and the FSB colleagues, who like all Russians have read that book, would ask.

Just because a bureaucrat had a boring day and wanted to set up an Excel spreadsheet, people’s lives are now in danger. And these are not any people, these are heroes who put their lives on the line for your our security.

Experts will remember that this – a stolen list of all foreign agents – was also how the James Bond film Skyfall began.

By the way, if my name would somehow be on that list due to a stupid coincidence, I refer you to the press reports, according to which the list was rather outdated and also contains retired spies. So there is no reason to over-react and arrest me (again)! If you will see me in the streets of Marrakesh, Odessa or Kathmandu in the next months, it might still be saver to ignore me.

Ok, I have to pack my bag now.

(Zur deutschen Fassung.)