There are three objectives to a breakfast:
- read the newspaper
- wake up properly
- gather energy for the day
Because I haven’t found any international newspapers yet in my small town in Romania, we shall focus on the two latter aspects.
In order to become fully awake, modern man drinks a cola of course. Preferably from the fridge. Additional ice cubes are welcome. I have heard that some people boil coffee, but that is medieval. Extremely complicated and you can only prepare it by using numerous gadgets, powders, machines, spoons. By the time the first cup is ready, half the day is already over. Also, coffee comes from Arabia, and I guess you don’t want to support the terrorists of ISIS. Or do you?
Energy is provided by a muesli. No corn flakes or Fruit Loops or other such children’s stuff, but real muesli with oatmeal.
And then I had the glorious idea, unfortunately one week too late for this year’s Nobel Prizes, to combine the two. Admittedly, the idea had become necessary because the milk once again had run out of power before its advertised expiry date.
So you pour the cola over the muesli, and there you have your power breakfast.
What a source of energy and power!
Mmhhhhhh!
(Die Weltgesundheitsorganisation hat auch eine deutsche Fassung dieses Artikels gesponsort.)
The Happy Hermit 
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Hahahaha!
Life Lesson #237: “How to turn a negative into a positive”
“I like to eat breakfast alone, and almost never before noon; anybody with a terminally jangled lifestyle needs at least one psychic anchor every twenty-four hours, and mine is breakfast. In Hong Kong, Dallas, or at home—and regardless of whether or not I have been to bed—breakfast is a personal ritual that can only be properly observed alone, and in a spirit of genuine excess. The food factor should always be massive: four Bloody Marys, two grapefruits, a pot of coffee, Rangoon crêpes, a half-pound of either sausage, bacon, or corned-beef hash with diced chilies, a Spanish omelette or eggs Benedict, a quart of milk, a chopped lemon for random seasoning, and something like a slice of key lime pie, two margaritas and six lines of the best cocaine for dessert…Right, and there should also be two or three newspapers, all mail and messages, a telephone, a notebook for planning the next twenty-four hours, and at least one source of good music…all of which should be dealt with outside, in the warmth of a hot sun, and preferably stone naked.” – Hunter S. Thompson
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