Republicans are much funnier

Democrats have won the Presidential election as well as more Senate races, but Republicans have introduced much more humour into this election cycle.

Let us not forget the Republicans who made us laugh in 2012. But let’s also not forget that all of these were running for the Republican Party’s nomination for President of the United States of America. All of them thought they had a serious chance.

Rick Perry, Governor of Texas couldn’t count to three.

Jon Huntsman, former Governor of Utah, spoke in the wrong language, something which impressed me but which didn’t endear him to the Tea Party. I actually found him the most electable of all the Republican candidates.

Michele Bachmann, member of the US House of Representatives, said that being gay is a sad life, is the lifestyle of Satan and leads to personal enslavement. She called it “sexual dysfunction” and “sexual identity disorder”.

Tim Pawlenty, former Governor of Minnesota, is so boring that I couldn’t find any funny video, try as a might. He didn’t stay in the race long.

Newt Gingrich, former Speaker of the US House House of Representatives, promised to colonize the moon. Seriously.

Rick Santorum, former US Senator, has the most stupid smirk which makes me want to punch him into the face each time I see him. He believed that he was chosen by God to run for President.

Herman Cain did not know anything about foreign policy. Actually, he knew nothing about the world. Republicans didn’t care. He only dropped out of the race when too many women claimed that they had been sexually assaulted by him.

Mitt Romney, the eventual Republican candidate, of course kept entertaining us all the way through to 6 November.

Donald Trump, the eternal wannabe candidate, was curiously and fetish-like obsessed with President Obama’s birth. The following video is just one of many examples of Donald Trump’s gigantic ego which makes him the most dangerous of all candidates. You don’t want the guy with the biggest ego in the world have control over the largest military in the world.

With some of these people, it was actually hard to decide for only one movie. I am wondering whom we will see again in 2016.

About Andreas Moser

Travelling the world and writing about it. I have degrees in law and philosophy, but I'd much rather be a writer, a spy or a hobo.
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5 Responses to Republicans are much funnier

  1. Just a quick correction. It’s Rick, not Rich, Santorum. Guess he doesn’t want to be reminded the GOP are the party of stuck-up millionaire (or billionaire) snobs.
    Huntsman wasn’t too bad, and Ron Paul actually seemed to be pretty well screwed together. Sadly, as with all common sense in the GOP, they sank faster than a holed submarine.
    Cain was FUN. Yeah, I don’t think his IQ could come close to his shoe size, but he was always good for a laugh. If you can access Comedy Central’s website, he did several funny segments with Stephen Colbert. Definitely worth the work to find.
    Bachmann is just an a-hole. Somebody needs to stick her and Palin on an iceberg and launch ’em toward a pack of hungry polar bears. Eliminating those two should push global warming back by at LEAST 2 or 3 decades.
    2016? PLEASE NO! Gimme a few months to depressurise from 2012! Jeez, the ADS! Yet another reason to encourage me to move out of Ohio to … oh, I don’t know … ANYWHERE!

    • Thanks, I corrected the typo.
      Even if you move out of a swing state, you’ll still be bombarded with ads about ballot initiatives. :P

    • Yeah, but how many initiatives do YOU know that call the other initiatives names and question their citizenship? ;)

  2. Robert Spiegel says:

    You forgot Gary Johnson! As a successful 2-term governor of New Mexico, he was one of the 4 who deserved serious consideration. He ended up headlining the Libertarian ticket, which barely broke through 1% of the popular vote. From the start, Huntsman telegraphed that he was not serious about running, by hiring a campaign crew that was more interested in bickering with each other than getting their man elected.

  3. Pingback: Islam is a Country, and Jews follow Jesus Christ | The Happy Hermit

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