So we have the 2012 Summer Olympics coming to town. As a Londoner, I am not excited. A busy, crowded and polluted city like London needs two more weeks of a massive rumpus like a hole in its head. And the UK, now officially in a recession once more, needs this tax-payer funded orgy for the few even less.

“At least we didn’t need to buy tickets to watch the match.”

I once applauded London for its measured response to the 7/7 terror attacks, but a few years later most people in the UK have gone security mad. About 1 billion £ will be spent on security for the upcoming London Olympics. (Providing security at the Olympics will therefore cost the same amount in 2 weeks as the Department of Energy and Climate Change spends in a whole year.)

The plans for security at the London Olympics include helicopters, fighter jets, assault ships, missile bases in residential areas, snipers, sonic weapons and an aircraft carrier. A 30-mile zone will become a restricted flying zone. People who blog subversive stuff like this will probably be detained during the Olympics.

“These new doping substances are highly explosive.”

London will be more heavily fortified than during some times of World War II and more military will defend stadiums, swimmers and runners than is stationed even on the Falkland Islands. Speaking about the Falklands, defending the whole group of islands costs about a third of the security expenses of the Olympics; but in a whole year.

With all this gear in place and the expenses already draining public funds, I almost hope for terrorist attacks during the London Olympics, so that there will at least be some action. Air assaults, urban warfare and sniper duels would definitely be more interesting than water polo, gymnastics or rowing. Therefore, please use this map of the military defences in any way you wish.