A bombastic welcome to Malta

Can this timing be coincidence?

Only two days after I announced my plan to move to Malta, a car bomb detonated this morning in the town of Hamrun in otherwise very peaceful Malta.

The timing of the explosion seems suspicious. Are Maltese terrorists trying to prevent me from coming to the island? Is it a warning? – They won’t be able to dissuade me from coming to beautiful Malta!

If I continue to attract bombs and other mayhem like thus far in my life, I might be able to negotiate a ransom from countries by promising not to move there.

About Andreas Moser

Travelling the world and writing about it. I have degrees in law and philosophy, but I'd much rather be a writer, a spy or a hobo.
This entry was posted in Malta, Travel and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

114 Responses to A bombastic welcome to Malta

  1. John Erickson says:

    I wouldn’t worry. They were probably transporting fireworks for your welcome celebration, and the driver absentmindedly lit a cigarette.
    Besides, he was driving a FIAT – here in the States, it is widely believed that stands for “Fix It Again, Tony”. Maybe the car just backfired. Big time! ;)

  2. Whoa. Good luck! Please don’t get assassinated!

  3. Lee Ellis says:

    Trust me, Malta is probably one of the safest islands in the World! The real threat here is the rush hour traffic for the time being.

    As for the rest it’s a safe haven and after visiting a dozen other countries you will end up here once again to fullfill your retirement plan ;)

  4. David says:

    Stay away from Fireworks mate and you’ll be fine all along. Ah, add drugs to that as well and don’t drive motorcycles (I do but anyways, have to die someway) which cause many deaths a year.

    • John Erickson says:

      Please, PLEASEE, David, tell me you where a full-face helmet! I once had to pull a motorcyclist off the road who had gone chin-first over his handlebars and onto the pavement. Hideous! Please protect yourself, my friend. I have nothing against motorcycles, but I wish helmet laws were mandatory world-wide. (Not to be a spoilsport, but to save you from a horrific outcome.)
      Take care, okay? Someone IS worrying about you! :)

    • I.Q says:

      wear, wear, wear…does anyone use a word check? Or at least that barbaric relic known as a dictionary?

  5. Angela says:

    Thanks for visiting my blog. Not sure what you meant about the “vicious dog” comment though lol. I actually live a block away from where this car bomb happened. I was already at work so didn’t hear a thing, but my husband has a motorcycle shop very close by and heard it. Rattled the windows. Thought it was maybe another firework factory blowing up :o) If this had happened an hour earlier though there would have been kids walking to the school across the way from where it happened!

  6. Fuck moses says:

    Why don’t you go back to your country … wherever that might be!
    GET LOST Babe!! … the sooner the better!! .. warbilna!!

    • IzZy says:

      Oh my god! I can’t believe someone actually posted that on your blog lol!! Your safe in Malta don’t worry…and there are no terrorists here other than the occasional troll (As you can see from the post up there) who thinks that coz they speak in Manglish (Maltese + English…it’s called pepe in Malta…accents on the e’s) they rule the world haha…

    • Malteser!! says:

      This guy should be ashamed of himself. Cannot believe what i’m reading. i have never felt so safe as i do in my own Country. you ask ‘why’ … i’ll explain (if you’re clever enough to understand) … the Maltese people are known for their friendly smiles and warm welcomes … we have our downfalls, fair enough, you find crazies and weirdos all around the world, fuck it … c’est la vie … but trust me, if you feel unsafe here you have a big problem matey!! why did you leave your home country anyway?? Felt unsafe there too … if you’re so unhappy here leave, we do not need ppl like you making us look like people that we definitely are not!! However, should you wish to love our country and be happy here, welcome to malta Moser, if not, Go to hell!!

    • Dovla says:

      Shut up, you’re probably 15 or really lacking common sense if you can’t figure out that this guy is being humorous.. That being said, I totally agree with Mr.Moser, you Maltese people should do something to improve the safety of the people on the island.. Shooting and explosions bladocc!

    • Malteser!! says:

      Thanks for your opinion Dovla … if this is sense of humour you surely have a fucking breakdown. wanna talk humour – Learn the definition of the word first. and that’s great that you think im 15 … ill take that as a compliment … i would love to live my teens again – i’ve got great memories of those times … couldnt have been in a safer country to enjoy my teens … just went down memory lane. Learn your facts before you voice your opinion loser. you’re probably british … i would understand your breakdown – with that grey dull weather and frowning faces … BLOODY HELL!

    • Dovla says:

      Imma int ragel jew mara bla sens. Jekk ma fhimtx li da qed jiccajta, vera ghandek problema. Hu qed jibilghu f’sormu u int qed tpaxxijulu jekk tidher li qabduk in-nervi. Jien ilni nghix Malta kwazi ghoxrin sena u nista nghid li memx post ahjar f’dinja fejn tifel jista joqghod minajr ikkollu jinkwieta li ser jigrilu xi haga. U jien minix ingliz lanqas, min post glorjuza nigi ;)

  7. Fuck Moses says:

    STOP posting STUPID & IGNORANT Comments on the Times of Malta website …

    You are really getting IRRITABLE … just pack up and leave our Beautiful Country!!

    We are DEFINITELY much better off without your ilk!!


    • What will happen if I don’t leave?

    • IzZy says:

      their tribe will most probably hunt you down with pitchforks and fire…however, pls stop saying that my beautiful HOME is a dangerous place…it really is not and we don’t appreciate such comments ;)

    • I.Q says:

      Irritating, irritating…repeat after me…irritating.

    • Lillian Smith says:

      Why can’t Andreas post on the Times of Malta like any other person can?

      And of what ilk is Andeas, please explain Moses? PS: You have a beautiful biblical surname but you should shot your parents for naming you “Fuck”.

    • Loodee14 says:

      Brilliant… Just brilliant :)

    • Sennuwy says:

      This is a request to the charming Maltese gentleman named F—-Moses (if he can actually read this–it’s in English). I represent a group of archaeologists who are investigating the anthropological roots of some of the population in Malta. Would you mind submitting a sample of your DNA, please? Researchers have believed that the Neanderthals were killed off a couple of million years ago by Homo sapiens, but there’s now evidence that a couple of Neanderthals (must have been a male and female) somehow migrated to Malta and reproduced here. I think you might be a direct descendant. Would really appreciate your cooperation. Will pay you for your time.

  8. Peter says:

    The problem is that in Malta there are the most less intelligent people in the World !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  9. lolo says:

    If you don’t like our beautiful island just back off ……WE ARE MALTESE AND WE TAKE NO SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • Loodee14 says:

      He does like it since he came to live here, remember? I’m shocked that so many (maltese) readers are unable to detect humour when they see it. I have a lot of great, bright and hilarious Maltese friends, stop spoiling Malta’s reputation with your misplaced national pride.
      Go have a KitKat instead :) and smile, it makes it all less painful, I promise ;-)

      How did I do, I.Q? ;-)

  10. Peter says:


  11. To Mr. Moser; I’m Maltese and I was shocked too, but don’t worry too much about things like these ^^; sometimes they happen. If you want something to scare you away from Malta there are other things, many of them, and the people have nothing to do with them; in case of a natural disaster- we would be in deep trouble!

  12. Proud to be Maltese says:

    Peter ,or shall i say Einstein as it seems that you are more intelligent than all of us(when you are shitting in the toilet) go f…. yourself and you too Moser.

    • Maltese says:

      Why are you sooooooo Rude. I am Maltese but not all Maltese are rude. I too am proud to be Maltese but you are a disgrace for the Maltese

  13. Nick says:

    whats funny about these comments shows a degree of intolerance… everyone has the right to say they want, even if you dont like it ! if you disagree dont resort to go back to your country arguments but counter it with solid evidence and logic – otherwise be quiet and live and let live!!

  14. Porkchops says:

    Peter says:

    15 March 2012 at 20:46

    “This so called Natsu proves wath I am saying.”

    Check the spelling Peter :D

  15. Peter says:


    • claudette says:

      La madre degli ignoranti fà sempre più figli e tu sei uno di loro caro Peter.

  16. Nick says:

    if mr moser presumes its dangerous, let him presume that he has a human right to talk and well done on talking freely.. “man is born free – Omar Ibn Khattab” and in the case of Malta “man is born free but is everywhere in chains – Jacques Rousseau” Im Maltese and when i see fellow Maltesers shutting people up just because they dont like what they hear, its so sad !!

  17. joseph says:

    i am really sorry but your posts are idiotic and misleading,,once in a blue moon an explosion occurs on this small island,in your country it probably happens on a daily basis,malta is a warm beautiful island with helpful tolerant people
    if your criticism was constructive it would be welcome but as your intentions are solely to tarnish the islands reputation then definitely you are not welcome,if you have a problem i suggest you to move away to a peaceful country , here are some suggestions Iraq, Iran, Somalia, Afghanistan,or Korea,they would suit you perfectly

  18. Peter says:

    MALTESE are BACKWARDS and IGNORANT people !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • Proud to be Maltese says:

      come to Malta Peter and i put you backward with one punch so you 2 be backward. from where are you that you say you are very advanced (advanced in pissing in your own pants ) and you mr moser did anyone attacked you at any time here in Malta did you had any problems saying what you like whats your prob, here in Malta as the english proverb say evreything happens for a reason so dont worry as long you dont get yourself in shit you dont need to worry relex relex and enjoy the sun

    • Peter says:

      Am one of those BRITISH people that made you maltese sort of man and women, cause before you were more like monkeys…….

    • Maltese proud of my country says:

      ooooowww British ok than on the 21 April come to Malta and see the boxing event Malta vs England and you see what Malta is made off .recently Malta won most against British boxers so you better back off stupid dump head and bdw what about fireworks Maltese people goes to Uk to help stupid British like you do something aa i forgot Malta already won world cups in fireworks so you better know what you are saying about Malta we are a tiny island but we are more brave than you think what you do for your country you useless dump head madafu**er go make a favour to yourself and get a gun and shoot to your head you rest and evreybody rest after you bdw people dont take this dump head for real 99.9% of British loves Malta .and Malta and British welcomes each other with hands open so piss off and remember do your self a favor shoot to your head

    • Maltese and proud of my country says:

      are you serius moser is that a big show this dont even began with maltese fireworks write this in you tube maltese beraq wish anbody in the world could make this its original maltese and proud. by the way write this aswell in youtube lija fireworks, mqabba fireworks, and malta fireworks. and st Joseph fireworks bilbao this are the world champions of the world that what you realy call fireworks and that makes us maltese watch it you peter see what monkeys can make that you chip monk cant make

  19. Ceebee says:

    Mr Moser, while I sincerely respect your opinion and your right to free speech, it is also normal for people to retaliate when you verbally attack their country with blatant lies. You see, we Maltese are proud of our little island and even though not many of us look after it as much as we should do, we do know that we truly have ” the jewel of the med”. Now I don’t know where you come from but anywhere you travel to you will always find and hear of murders and other types of terrible crimes, however, considering the degradation this world has come to, Malta still is one of the safest places to live. So please, the next time you travel, or even go back home, have a good look around you and then compare where you are with Malta. We know how small Malta is but have you ever see big diamonds?.

    • Lillian Smith says:

      The real problem that I see is not Mr. Moser but in the Maltese character – The ‘Chihuahua Syndrome” (and I believe this is the national dog too) and an inability to detect any type of humour (except for slapstick maybe).

    • Could I please ask you not to generalize?
      Its so easy to say something that can be offensive to another person and then say that it was a joke. Sometimes, I believe that people should be sensitive.
      If you generalize, people MIGHT generalize about you. I’m not picking up a fight or anything, I’m just stating what I think.
      If you arrive to Malta thinking X and Y and Z about Maltese people, then I’m sorry but you will not be enjoying here and will just focus on negative characteristics.

  20. I think it’s time to make it clear that I deem Malta to be extremely safe. I would think that the humorous intention behind my original post was quite evident, but apparently not so.

    • Porkchops says:

      how come the change of heart?? received a couple of death threats by any chance ? :)

      dont worry if you did … unless u work for transport Malta that is :D

    • Haha! It just hurt me to see that people feel hurt by something that was not meant in a hurtful way at all.

    • Lillian Smith says:

      Dear Porkchops, the humourous intent of this post was evident to me from day one. And I find it baffling to say the least that this has escaped many people and went right over their heads. Relax and laugh at yourselves, it will do you a world of good.

    • Dave says:

      Dear Mr. Moser,

      If there’s one thing that is most likely to kill you in Malta, it’s not a car bomb or a bullet, but the lack of sense of humour in the inhabitants of this country. And that’s coming from a Maltese person.



  21. Ceebee says:

    And as for you Peter, whoever the fuck you may be, talking about ignorance in a post like that is simply an understatement. In Maltese we have a saying ” il-qahba milli jkolla taghtik”. I won’t bother translating that since I am ignorant and can’t spik the inglix.

  22. Helmut Meier says:

    The savest country in Europe is Germany. I am proud of my country achievements. We help Greece and Malta not to fail. Hour economy is excellent and tanks to Chenceler Merkel we will help Maltesians to reach a good standard of leaving and education.

  23. Ceebee says:

    Mr Meier, sorry to be the stick in your spokes but Germany has never helped Malta

  24. Helmut Meier says:


    Look at Foreign Direct Investment and you find that Deutschland has invested most in your country.

  25. Ceebee says:

    Investment is not help !!! Am I helping HSBC if I buy shares??

  26. Helmut Meier says:

    So if Germany diverts its investment elsewere, stop begging.

  27. Ceebee says:

    Germany and German companies invest in Malta being financially we are more stable than a lot of other much bigger European countries. More proof that Malta never needed Germany’s help

  28. Ceebee says:

    Mr Meier, please!!! When has Malta ever begged Germany? We didn’t beg when we had 40 air raids a day trying to demoralise the Maltese but we managed to stop them when Poland, France, Italy, North Africa trembled at the sound of the Luftwaffe. So please, try and talk to someone from another country about begging

    • Helmut Meier says:

      More British propaganda.

    • Mario Saliba says:

      If it was British Propaganda how come we received England’s Highest Honour The George Cross? Did Malta ever surrender to Germany during the war? Learn your history before you talk about British Propaganda

    • joseph says:

      @ceebee please dont waste your time with this dude ,certainly he has no idea what he is talking about a big ass country like his saying they helped us because they took 9 imigrants is proof what smug ingratefull asses they are

  29. Helmut Meier says:

    Well, Minister Tonio Fenech says different in ECOFIN. Fondly known as “The Moaner” in German delegation. Why?

    • Mario Saliba says:

      Maybe to make Germany look important

    • walter camilleri says:

      It’s so necessary to “make Germany look important” – it is not only the largest country in the EU, but it also funds the rest of the EU Countries. That’s not important!

      Walter Camilleri

  30. Sean says:

    I apologize on behalf of most Maltese people for the rude comments posted here. There is nothing barbaric about our country; in fact it is one of the most peaceful places to visit and/or live in the entire PLANET – even statistics agree with me on this. Sure accidents happen, but I dare anyone to mention any civilized place where there is 100% peace and is 100% safe. Malta is no utopia, but I wouldn’t want to live anywhere else.

    P.S. to those who think we are “backwards people”, “stone age monkeys” and “illiterate farmers and plumbers”, I assure you we have one of the most difficult educations in the world; which is why we find foreign examinations quite easy to deal with as opposed to our own.

    • No need to apologize. There are some equally rude comments by non-Maltese on here, sadly.

    • I.Q says:

      Peaceful….HA. Safe maybe, peaceful…get away.

    • walter camilleri says:

      We are definitely not ALL “backwards people”, “stone age monkeys”, and “illiterate farmers and plumbers”. It’s just the impression one gets reading blogs like these.

      Some of the Maltese are quite tolerant, don’t take offence and can spell.

  31. Bob says:

    Colonialism and Socialism have stolen our sense of humor.

    • Lillian Smith says:

      Yes, I believe your current Governemt has been in power for 25 years. That would take away anyone’s sense of humour.

  32. Kamillu says:

    what a waste of bandwidth this site is!!!!! Get a life all of you, and for those who followed these so-called posts on this so-called blog, go watch paint dry..it might be more interesting….Moser, you have a pretty boring life my goodness, i pity you…
    as for Peter, you’re hiding behind an alias, coward…..you’re so ignorant yourself that you keep repeating yourself trying to attract attention when you’re still a little boy…I remember that saying heard years ago, ‘post it tfal huwa wara’, so just sit back and learn from others…it might pay you in life…..little boy……

  33. Mr Reality says:

    Malta is one of the safest places on earth. Come and see for yourself, false advertisements is just made for the sole purpose of ruining our very good reputation.

  34. Wil says:

    “i touch myself. i want you to love me” and again and again and again. I am Maltese. I am Sexy. I Rule. I am the beginning and at the end. And I hate.

  35. Nik Grech says:

    You have a good sense of humour Andreas. Unfortunately a very very few of us maltese are so pathetic that one cannot have a joke with them. Anyway, hope your stay in Malta will be the best of all stays you have around the world. And above all, keep it up and good luck, and wish you all the best.

  36. stanley says:

    I read all of these comments and wonder.Why is our maltese history full of conquerers wanting to fight to keep dominance of the islands until the last drop of blood? Take Count Roger and the French for example.The germans tried their best as well to occupy the island.This is a country full of history and culture with excellent weather all year round and everybody is welcome to it.We Maltese will be more than happy to intellectually show you around and share our hospitality which is abundant with all the indigenous beings, so welcome and enjoy your stay

  37. Steve Serra says:

    Hahahahaa… all you trolls are a funny lot, the professor included.
    How is it that nobody realises Andreas is just being funny? Dark humor is lost on you commenters. It’s becoming like a Blackadder episode here. Keep it coming! :)

    • Porkchops says:

      told you before that death threats will follow but again dont take them serouisly plenty of hot steam around. But if you work with Transport Malta or as a warden then hmmmmm id suggest you watch out 0_0

  38. Porkchops says:

    surely got crowded in here since last night :) Mr moser you took the cake on the Times as all bloggers are all out to get you and fewer to see who the murdered dude is ^_^

    Anyway dead dude probs is bad news himself from what little we get from times.

    As for the ultra tolerant and high IQ who can read between the lines, bla bla bla bla bla, a joke badly placed can have some bad effects. Mr Moser’s joke is meant to tarnish not promote…. bad enough we have a good portion of our own population which are dumb enough to help in that regards…….

    Not to mention the up and coming Spring Hunting blog and field wars…… we all see what happens year after year where foreigners come and picture some of our lessor minded brothers blasting off birds *sobs* and then go on advertising the rest of Malta as gun loving individuals :(

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    @ Proud to be maltese

    Am one of those BRITISH people that made you maltese sort of man and women, cause before you were more like monkeys …………………………………….

  41. Stefan MD says:

    I as a Maltese look at all these rude comments from citizens so Proud to be Maltese and cry.

    We are always quoting history and true, we should be proud of what we have achieved through time, but like ALL OTHER COUNTRIES we are becoming the victims of complacency and entitlement (read here to see what I mean – http://www.timesofmalta.com/articles/view/20120316/blogs/the-dunces-of-europe.411392).

    Although we have a number of bright sparks currently on this tiny rock (who have contributed to a number of technical achievements INVENTED and PATENTED in Malta), the majority do not know what it means to work hard for their rewards and opt to cruise along in life – and please note I am not excluding myself from this group.

    So please give me a break from the armchair critics, a bad reputation is not fixed by sitting down and shouting that we are better than that – it is fixed by doing something about it.

    And to the politically minded – stop complaining about the current government – it has been true throughout democratic history that every people have the government they deserve – you need to change the people’s mentality to change the government.

    • Stefan MD says:

      and to the grammar nazi – yes I have a number of mistakes in there, was writingin a hurry and did not have time to proof-read. Enjoy!

  42. Peter says:

    @ Proud to be maltese

    Am one of those BRITISH people that made you maltese sort of man and women, cause before you were more like monkeys …………………………………….

    • Porkchops says:

      originality certainly aint the strong piont for these so called proud to be british. Repeat that line again Peter please.

      If I were british Id definetly be proud of the everyday gloomy weather, the coldness of the people, the fact that foreigners have completely took over my country, the famous riots of last year, the fact 2 teenagers kidnapped a 4 year old and murdered him and the list goes forever on and on and on

      So yes Peter be proud of what you are :)

  43. Sorry, IQ, I don’t have a contextual word checking program. I do my best, which occasionally fails due to my taking large quantities of opiate painkillers for the migraine headaches I’ve had for 12 years straight.
    Besides, with all the hate flying around this post, I think you could cut me a little slack for one measly word transposition, no?

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