I used to have a beautiful blue sweater, which I can be seen wearing in this photo during a visit to Buskett Gardens in Malta.

And then one day, it was gone.

For months, I had been wondering where I had placed it, when I might have given it to a poor freezing soul at the side of the road or who might have taken it without my permission.

Until today, when I spotted Keira Knightley, clearly wearing what used to be my favourite blue sweater – although it looks like she washed it a few times too many.

Unbelievable. Keira Knightley not only took my sweater after our encounter (about which I have only a very vague recollection, I have to admit), but she even shares it with Steve Carell in Seeking a Friend for the End of the World.

Other people would be happy that their sweater made it into a movie, but I honestly don’t have that many clothes. If I’ll be robbed by a few more actresses, I’ll be walking around naked. So, Keira or Steve, whoever of you has the garment now, please return it. Thanks.