Berlusconi’s library

Italians don’t need any zombie movies because Silvio Berlusconi regularly appears in his video messages. I don’t know if anyone watches them, but these messages seem to give the former Prime Minister a feeling of still being important.

In his last video message, Mr Berlusconi appeared in front of a wall full of books.

Berlusconi booksWas this some desperate attempt to appear presidential, educated or even intellectual? Such attempts would be futile and laughable for a man who is known for a lot, but not for his love of literature.

No, the story was a different one: after the recording, Mr Berlusconi was furious and foamed at his assistant:

“Angelino, what the fuck was the matter with all this paperwork behind me? Don’t you know how to prepare a proper video message to my people?”

“Signore, I was wondering myself. But you had specifically requested that setting.”

“What? How could I? I don’t even know what these things are.”

“You had asked for ‘books, lots of books’ and when we asked if you were sure, you literally explained ‘Trust me, I know something about TV. If there ain’t no books, it ain’t a good show.’ So we brought as many books as we could. Most of them are on criminal law, but we don’t think the viewers will notice.” To himself, he thought: “and if they will notice, they don’t seem to care, judging by the election results,” and he smiled.

“Books?”, Berlusconi replied after a long pause. Then he erupted: “Angelino, you useless twat! I had asked for boobs, not for books. Damn it! If I don’t take care of everything myself, this country will go down the drain.”


About Andreas Moser

Travelling the world and writing about it. I have degrees in law and philosophy, but I'd much rather be a journalist, a spy or a hobo.
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19 Responses to Berlusconi’s library

  1. Mal Ta says:

    no need to go and see him lying in state when he dies. what you see now is what you’ll see in 1, 2 or even 10 years from now.

    funny article…but i am sure you were inspired by this.

  2. Mi fa sorridere questa storiella. Grazie:)

  3. List of X says:

    These might be the hardcover Playboy magazines, so that would be both books and boobs in the same package.

  4. djgarcia94 says:

    Very interesting post. Here in America there was never a terrible amount of coverage about Berlusconi, but he certainly makes even our most debased politicians look like Mother Teresa.

  5. Thank you. This would be hilarious if it wasn’t so close to the mark.

  6. stanito says:

    Thanks for making it fun :) I never watch Silvio’s videos, not anymore at least, it’s always the same and for about 19 years. We had enough. Still 25% of the population voted for him… And I can’t find a proper answer.

    • The continued support for Berlusconi is the biggest mystery of Italy to me. I am about to move to Italy (Sicily) next week and I hope to find out about that, finally.

    • stanito says:

      In Sicily? that’s wonderful, such a wonderful island, you’ll enjoy it a lot!
      Well, in Sicily you’ll find plenty of theories on this regard, probably more than in any other corner of Italy. Please do share if you hear something interesting, yes? :)

    • Absolutely! From next week on, I will write about Italy regularly.

    • Roberto Ndranghetti says:

      Lituania to Sicily? My Freund, what’s wrong with you? Sicily has 10:1 helicopter drones ratio compared to Lituania. Same GDP though. Ciao and see you in Sicilia. Call me when you need a strong hand, to put out your cigar. And don’t forget, Sicilia owns Italia, but Italia does no own Sicilia.

  7. Gotta admit, this one made me bust out laughing. Some of your breast humour yet! :p ;)
    (Yep – I’m BACK! 8O )

  8. Brenden says:

    Great post. I was in Dublin in 2011 when Burlusconi stepped down and there were a group of Italian girls celebrating in the streets with signs. I didn’t know much about it then but by their excitement I guessed it was a good thing. After reading more about him I can see why they were so joyous. I would not want someone like him to be my leader!

  9. Kavita Joshi says:

    funny article not sure whether I should anything about the politics of this place or not…lol

  10. Roberto Ndranghetti says:

    Silvio is my friend, we party together, please do no insulte him. Great man. P.S.: Those books are mostly “How To Be A Boss” series.

  11. dino bragoli says:

    Very funny! I think the ‘Berlusconi effect’ is maintained by no, but recently very low, housing tax. The centre, centre right and right have voters that own their homes and will vote for anyone who saves them money. They wouldn’t care, but in fact most are unaware of the bedlam that this Buffoon is causing in Italy because the Berlusconi media machine is tuning most of it out.
    I am an Italian living in London and have non Italian friends who, quite frankly, feel sorry for me being Italian due the way the ‘Berlusconi effect’ makes Italians look to the rest of the World.

  12. Roberto Ndranghetti says:

    Oh, and by he way, be careful and don’t become a specimen of a Elite Hunting Club while in Sicilia…

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